I haven’t written anything in quite a while. Primary reasoning being that I lose inspiration sometimes. And then, I somehow find it in the oddest of places. At the moment, that place is television. I know…television? The current “stars” of televison are the ones of the “15 minutes of fame” variety. The reality stars who will do anything (and embarrass their family in the process) to grab the media’s (and the public’s) attention for a mere span of time.
Then, out of nowhere, a little jewel of a television show appears. No one is in a bikini being hosed down or dancing in bubbles, or eating a pig’s brains for a few bucks…an actual show. Now, the show has all of the ingredients to be absolutely terrible. On the SOAPnet channel (the home of guilty pleasures for women everywhere), a female lead (they don’t always make a female lead character likeable AND real), and based out of Canada. So, at first glance, you might think that it has to have terrible, self-indulgent, bullshit writing, a hot, yet not quite admirable lead character (probably a blonde, Paris Hilton-type) and based out of an area that I don’t know much about. Not the case! What am I referencing? Being Erica!
To be fair, the show will not appeal to the average male. But, the show will appeal to the average woman, and the man that has at least acknowledged, at some point in his life, that he has at least one semi-feminine trait and can be slightly introspective. This is not a blow to the male species, simply a recognition that we are different.
The show focuses on Erica, a woman with many regrets. Her character has a great education, great friends, and a seemingly great life, but she still cannot manage to get it together. She does not have the great job or significant other. She feels like these regrets are holding her back from what she could achieve…so then a mysterious therapist comes into the picture, with promises to help Erica with all of these regrets. What ends up happening is that the therapist sends her back to specific moments in time, all on her list of regrets, and Erica gets the chance to change the past…or can she? Many times she finds that the past cannot be changed, even if things are done differently.
This is important, because at some point, everyone wishes they would have done something differently, or reacted differently to some situation. As corny as it may seem, the show has ignited some sort of light in my brain that is slowly beginning to accept that things are okay as they are.
In the show, “Erica” is 32 years old, still at a dead-end job, and watching her friends’ lives blossom around her.
All too often, we judge ourselves based on others’ successes, instead of our own. Gone are the days when we progressed at the same rate as our peers…graduated from kindergarten at the same time, moved on to high school at the same time, started driving around the same time…all of the milestones were shared. Now, we’re all on our own.
I find myself in a similar circumstance. I am happy and satisfied with many parts of my life, and yet there are some aspects of my life that keep gnawing at me…primarily, where I am in my career. I see others that have milestones, whether small or huge, and I feel as if I’ve plateaued. I’m not saying I’m alone in this (although at times I’ve tried to convince myself that I am), but still, I am 25 years old, with a undergrad degree that is 2 years old, 2 successful internships under my belt, too many organizations to name while in college, a job with decent pay and insurance, and yet…here I am. Still unsatisfied.
The funny thing is…I’m not alone in this. Many people have not reached a satisfying level of success in their careers by 25. And I’m truly not sure where I think I should be by now. I think all that I need is a plan. The issue with that is… I thought I had one already!
I studied Communications in college, with a focus in print journalism. I loved it! I took really great classes, and I have to say, was interested in each and every one (at least the last two years). Each one offered something new and stimulating, and even if my grades weren’t perfect in each one, I walked away having really learned something. My goal was to eventually become a successful editor, and possibly copy editor, but yet, I graduate and find every job that is the farthest away from that goal as possible. So, two years after graduation, I feel like I am back at square one, only this time, without a game plan.
So where to go from here? Well, that’s going to take some time to figure out. Deep down, I know where I’m meant to be, but the real challenge is going to be staying happy when all other facets of my life are wonderful, rather than focusing on the stuff that’s not as satisfying.
We’ll see how this goes! In the interim, I’ll watch Erica stumble and fall and make different choices…and hell, she’s got a few years on me, after all!